Non Nostri Chaos Circulus

I have seen this Geranium Lake Properties comic identified many times as Mother Jackal in her guise as...

Dependent Arising - This is an image of Yost’s final version for...

Twelfth Night - I felt that I needed to wait until...

A Walk on the Moon - In the traditional history (which is more legend than...

Seven Ales and Ciders

The two Geranium Lake Properties comics in today’s post were not published in newspapers. They were included with six...

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Eighth Day Cake

...on the eighth day, jackalopes will tell you, He Ate Cake. Which brings us to the honored-but-not-too-revered Jackalopian tradition of eighth day cake....

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The Big Bang of Pyrotechnocracy

July 4th is a night of unhappiness and terror for American dogs.

The Chariot That Swings So Low

Happy Lantern Day!

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Interludes and Meditations

This upcoming Sunday is Kopje Modder Dag – Cup of Mud Day – one of the several Inultaru holidays that celebrates the miraculous presence of coffee in our lives...

Official 2022 Geranium Lake Properties Calendar

The Traipse of the Redivider

The Procession of Entropy, which began on October 15th, ends tonight at...

Official 2022 Geranium Lake Properties Calendar

Four Cardinal Directions

Today is a holiday called Omishoelta, which translates as...

Official 2022 Geranium Lake Properties Calendar

Oh Tokyo

Happy Lantern Day! If your house is full of...

Official 2022 Geranium Lake Properties Calendar

Coniferous Bonfire Scented with Copal

Guy Fawkes Night is not a holiday intuitively understood by...

The Late Year Collection for 2021

Marigold Day

It is a custom among jackalopes, but not an official...

Official 2022 Geranium Lake Properties Calendar

The Masks of Jack Loki

My idea for this year’s Halloween post occurred to me late. I intended...

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So Many Different People To Be

I was not expecting an e-mail from...

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The Conjoined Numina of Valfad Niam and yre-Ovna

These are the other two of the three variations...

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The Palace Map

Aka, “How the Blue Jay Remembers Where He...

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A Genius for Scapegracery and Gallywagging

One of the most honored professions among jackalopes is cactus hunting, which they call...

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The Adamant Heart

“All heroes, all gods, all heavens, all glories falter and fade before the adamant heart of Entropy.” A quote attributed to various people who were in the know about jackalopes, including Baruch Spinoza, Kasturba Gandhi, Evelyn Einstein, Frieda Lawrence, Ninon de l’Enclos, James Randi and Diogenes....

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Patchy Kettle's Lantern

Today is Lantern Day, which honors Patchy Kettle, the most merry of the Jackalopian gods, and the favorite god of jackalope children. A lantern is Patchy Kettle's commonest symbol, an accoutrement he carries both night and day. The description of the lantern differs from story to story, it is sometimes made of copper or bronze or rusted iron, or carved from chalcedony, or constructed of bones and wire, using chicken bones. The light has been provided by sheep tallow candles, or fueled by pumpkin seed oil or urine or salt. People often misunderstand the lamp of Patchy Kettle, confusing it with the lamp of Diogenes, who lit his lamp in the daylight to search for an honest man. Patchy Kettle had this to say about honest men:

The problem with "calls for the severest and most indignant repudiation on the part of all honest men" is that "honest men" was and will always be a mythical entity that was of no use to anyone except liars. Abandon your belief in "honest men", and continue to resist your desire to revive that belief. Only then can you ask yourself, "What can be accomplished?"

This quote comes from the Esornom Imaginaria, one of the two most popular books for tales about Patchy Kettle. The Esornom Imaginaria is divided into five books, this passage can be found in the Book of Ornasein, which is about the adventures of Patchy Kettle and a young poet-monk named Ornasein, who is the narrator. Ornasein tells us he is the duke of a rich province and he has many good wives and a horde of children. Many citizens admire and respect him, and few vilify him. His book is a fond reminiscence of a time when he was young, poor, mostly drunk and carefree. He remembers drinking so much that he is amazed at how his memories can be so vivid and full of detail. His stories have plenty of adventure, romance, horror, ironic twists, plus good advice from Patchy Kettle to his young companion. Ornasein confesses that he ignored all the advice, and thus became a rich, successful man who is miserable and powerless, crushed out of existence by his obligations to his wealth, family and nation. No longer human, he has become a machine that serves the whims and needs of other people. At the end of his book, he gets drunk one night, packs a knapsack with cheese, buffalo jerky and almond cakes, and runs away from everything. We learn in the other four books of the Esornom Imaginaria that Ornasein died years later in a state of bliss.

© 2017 lcmt
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Invoking the Name of the Mystery as Elilim and Kochavim

For Catholics, today is All Soul's Day, overtaken among Mexicans and hip moderns by the traditions of the Day of the Dead. Elilkocha is the name given to this holiday by jackalopes, who honor the day by drinking coffee and consuming brown butter cake made with bourbon or rum, preferably in their favorite diners. If you want to be really traditional, you will add some coconut liqueur to your coffee, which ruins the coffee and tastes nothing like coconut.

Jackalopes are unabashed thieves of culture, and they stole two Hebrew words for their holiday, Elilim, which means "false gods", and Kochavim, "stars". I mentioned to comandantechispas that jackalopes have a saying, "All names are the name of God." They also have another saying, "All gods are false gods." Jack Loki, the sometimes protagonist of Geranium Lake Properties, explains it like this, "Jackalopes are, by nature and every inclination, atheists, and they consider the various god concepts as metaphors. Metaphors are essentially lies that make facts more poetic, more epic, more mythic. Metaphors make a better story, a good yarn, or a lesson memorable as a parable or fable. If you want to celebrate Elilkocha, use this day to remind yourself not to scorn the good stories and lessons found in the religions of gods you think are false."

The other half of the Elilkocha honors stars as the creators of all life--of all of everything, actually. Patron saint? Carl Sagan, of course.

PS. Diners are sacred places in America, don't you think? Also, there is a larger invocation of this work.

© 2017 lcmt
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The Procession of Entropy

Autumn heralds the great holiday for jackalopes, the Procession of Entropy, which begins on October 15 and ends on the last day of the year. Jackalopes believe in a few gods despite being atheists, with a very small percentage who are Greek Orthodox. (This small percentage is dedicated to preserving the traditions of jackalope history in the Byzantine Empire.) Of the Jackalopian Gods, Patchy Kettle might be their oddest, but he is also their most amiable god. Ekchuajumudabrutu is their most classical god, a son of Tiamat. Their most revered god is Entropy, and the major holidays for Entropy conveniently occur during the holiday season that includes Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, which are also celebrated by jackalopes. (Since jackalopes are largely atheists, they seize every opportunity to celebrate other cultures. Jackalopes firmly believe in holidays.)
© 2017 lcmt
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